cohen, showing us ‘the incredibles’ dvd case: “can we watch this movie?”
me: “cohen, it’s going to have some scary parts…”
mandy, actually looking at the dvd case: “no, cohen, it’s PG.”
avery: “i’m not scared of PG.”
et cetera.
cohen: “daddy! scare me!”
me: “you won’t have social security!”
cohen: “stop it!”
et cetera.
cohen: “you know, i wish my name was walter.”
mandy and i just start laughing.
cohen, confused: “why… why are you laughing? i didn’t say water, i said walter.”
et cetera.
cohen, at dinner: “what does ‘nailed it’ mean?”
me: “it typically means you did something perfect. but sometimes it can be be said sarcastically, meaning you failed.”
avery, about 5 minutes later while in time out: “nailed it.”
et ecetera.
cohen: “are dogs born from a belly or an egg?”
mandy: “a belly.”
cohen: “good, cause if a dog came from an egg that would be weird.”
et cetera.
cohen: “why did they nail jesus to the cross?”
mandy: “well, they were upset with jesus because he claimed to be the son of god and some people didnt believe him?”
cohen: “why didn’t they use screws?”
et cetera.
avery: “look! i can clap with one eye open!”
avery: “i need hanitizer!”
et cetera.
cohen: “mom, are you 40% off?”
clearly he’s been shopping a few too many times with mandy.
et cetera.
sometimes, especially as a father who grew up in the video game generation, you reach a critical juncture in the raising of your children. and that juncture is the first time you play a non-Wii game with your kids. because seriously, the Wii? i mean, mario kart is cool and all, but it’s a kiddie game. we’re talking big kid stuff here. so, ladies and gentleman, without further ado, comments from avery and cohen while cohen and i played ‘lego star wars: the complete saga’ on the xbox…
avery, with absolute awe: “this, this is awesome daddy.”
cohen, with a look of sheer and utter joy on his face: “i have a gun!! and, i am shooting it! i have a gun!”
cohen, laughing: “r2-d2 has a gun! hahaha, i am shooting them! daddy r2-d2 actually has a gun. oh, oh! look i’m flying!”
et cetera.
avery: “you got mud on your face, you big disgrace!”
avery, anytime someone says ‘boom’: “sha laka laka!”
et cetera.
observing the world around him…
cohen: “daddy, you toot more than you burp.”
cohen: “i think girls like to dance more than boys. so i think dancing is girlie.”
et cetera.
sometimes, when everyone else in the house is napping and i finally have some free time to myself, i find that i really miss having someone to talk to. but really, i am just upset that one of the nappers is asleep on the couch and i can’t watch television.
et cetera.
mandy: “head on downstairs kids, i’ll be there in a minute.”
avery: “okay mommy. we’re counting on you!!... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…”
both encouraging, and impatient.
et cetera.
cohen, watching a dvd: “mommy, there’s a new movie coming out in 2007!”
avery, punch-drunk tired on the way home after a long, fun and tiring day: “mommy, can i tell you something?”
mandy: “what?”
avery: “underwear!”
this was followed by maniacal laughter.
et cetera.
avery: “i am saving that for after later.”
et cetera.
cohen: “mommy, today i wiped my bum bum, and it was a messy one, and i didn’t care.”
et cetera.
so, i took the kids on a walk to give mandy some peace. along the way, avery lost her shoe, but didn’t tell me until almost the very end of the walk…
avery: “i lost my shoe!!”
me: “where did you lose it?”
avery: “it fell off.”
me: “when? did it just fall off?”
avery: “yes.”
me, not finding it: “did it fall of earlier on the walk?”
avery: “yes.”
me: “did you have it when we left the house?”
avery: “yes.”
me: “did it it fall off by the construction?”
avery: “yes.”
me: “avery, you’re just saying ‘yes’ to whatever i ask you.”
avery: “yes, i am.”
et cetera.
cohen, without any prompting: “i think that things that are heavy fall faster than things that are lighter.”
me: “well, actually… [insert teaching moment regarding physics, acceleration of gravity, mass, and force using a lego toy (lighter) and a bottle of salad dressing (heavy) for demonstration]... so does that make sense?”
cohen: “yeah, heavy and light things will fall the same fast, but heavy things will make a bigger crash. can i have milk?”
et cetera.
cohen: “i am as tired as a sleeping bull.”
cohen, in reference to family movie night: “i am exploding with excitement!!”
et cetera.
freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes. – mahatma gandhi
not enough keggers end this way.